Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Die, Goon Sacks, Die!

In America they're called "box wines" and in Australia and New Zealand they're called goon sacks (for the bag inside the box). And everywhere we look, it seems to be not only not fading away, but gaining ground. Look, let's get some things straight about this stuff right now.

It is not "environmentally friendly". Who knows where this "going green" nonsense first started, but common sense should tell you that if you have a plastic silver bag inside a printed cardboard box, that's at least two industries that got involved just to make one package. Glass and cork are both biodegradable and glass is 100% recyclable. They've been making glass since the first century B.C., and it hasn't caused nearly the environmental problems that plastic has.

I've tasted wine, and what comes out of a goon sack is not wine. It is at best a kind of fruit punch. Goon sacks have no quality to recommend them at all. Their purpose in life is to get young students drunk fast, end of the line. Wine in a sack or box has no storage shelf life to speak of.

Goon sacks are an insult to wine. By definition, they contain "cheap wine", usually of the "wine cooler" formula, which is to say it's flavored, colored, and has added alcohol.

Now, I'm fine with goon sacks and box wines having their place. People want to get smashed on junk, they'll do that anyway. But when respectable Italian companies start eying goon sacks and thinking, "Oh, we have to start doing that!"... what is the world coming to?

2 comments:

ernist said...

i think goon is great. not that i dont enjoy wine but at the same time i think if you felt like drinking a nice wine and bought goon you would be a stooge. yes i argree it taste alot diff but its cheap and can be made less nasty with mixer and you get alot of it, whats a good thing in these modern times. one thing i like about goon is that if you go to a party and your broke and short of a drink im sure someone has a seedy sack hanging on some clothes line or under their arm. i think goon taste horrible but so do alot of wines but unlike alot of wines goon is expected to taste bad.did you also know the goon sack was an australian invention. and well sadly roumer has it that the goon sack will be faded out

Anonymous said...

You self rightous pretentous snob. In the world of alcoholic beverages, wine is the everyman drink. Sure you do not see grand cru in a box and nor do you want to, but box wine suits a certain market and in a world where 97% of wine is for immediate drinking the wine box, tetra pack, and even the can is a perfect packaging for wine. You need to open your eyes, and realise not everyone is from the same economic background as you, and that the same wine rules and regulations apply to the wines in this package form as in glass bottles. I suppose you have a problem with coloured glass too!